Cell Phone Away..

I keep my phone away thinking that I would drift away,

I keep it away so that I don’t scroll through your texts at times,

When my heart aches bad,

I keep it away so that I don’t hurt me more..

To close my eyes and look at you with eyes closed,

I keep my phone away knowing that you will never text me,

And that hurts more..

Cause I will always keep waiting for your name to pop up on my screen,

I keep my phone away to keep you closer virtually and away in reality,

To not hear your voice again and again,

But to hear it with eyes closed..

I keep my phone away to not type all the messages that I will never send,

I keep my phone away to keep myself away from the reality and the truth….

by Categories: human emotions Leave a comment

Your Poetry..

I will always be part of those pages

Where you hugged me tight

So unfortunate

To not have hugged you in real..

Keep holding me inside those pages atleast

That’s where I belong

keep holding me close to your heart

That’s where I belong

Keep me closer to your eyes

That’s where I belong

Keep me closer to your touch

That’s where I belong

And then very closer to your breath

Cause that’s where I belong

you keep me closer to your soul

Cause that’s mine

Keep me winded in those pages

Cause you write me there

You breathe me there

Keep writing me

On me

For me

Cause that’s how I am alive

Fit in your heart

Sealed in your deepest soul

So what we never met

So what forever was found so late

So what if I am not your fate

You can always keep me

Closer to your fingers

To the ink of your pen

To the notes of your phone

To the love that you think

Closer and deep within

Lock me safe there

Till my eyes close

You can keep me sealed in the arms of your pages

Cause this will always last….

The ink won’t fade ever

You can feel me in them

And never feel alone

You can smile reading me aloud

Cause you said I am your poetry

And poetry never dies..

Love is supreme

Above all the relationships

Our heart knows

Miles apart still together

It beats for you

I know you yearn for me

Don’t worry

Am deep within your soul..

Close your eyes and you can see me

Feel me

Always cause you said you can’t stop loving me

You asked me to hear all the unsaid I love yous

To listen each time you say it in your heart

To listen even when you don’t say it aloud

To keep listening when words are not enough

I will always know that you love me

I know that you listen the same

Each time I cry your name

Wrapped in the blanket is your soul

Hugging my blanket when I roar

Each night beneath the darkest night

I listen to all that you feel

I listen to the words that are sealed

In those pages that you have kept them caged

My Love, our love would never fade

It’s the darkest colour

It’s your colour on my soul

My colour on yours

It is the only thing that keeps me alive

The only truth that am yours..

The clear night skies I see you there

I see you in the twinkling stars

I will keep seeing you till the sights last

I will keep loving you till my poetries last

I will keep loving you till the last blood of my heart

You will always be safe here cuddled in the pages of my art..

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Ode to my Krishna..

Took years to understand your love for me

Years to understand that we are one

Soul in two bodies

Years to understand am your Radha

And years to understand that Krishna is mine..

I have been looking for you everywhere

All the time

You were always with me

In me

Right here…

They say separation intensifies love

Till eternity am yours and you will be mine

you didn’t marry me cause we are one selfless soul

Marriage was never necessary for our love

I will wait for you to come

And be yours atleast once infront of all

While I know this love is divine

So untouched

I want you to keep writing

And recite me your poetry

Your soul is mine and mine yours

This selfless love will live forever

Till eternity we will dwell in each other

As one soul and two bodies..

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Love Deprived!

I feel like am leaving behind something

I feel like have been robbed

I feel something has been there inside me always

I feel you have always been mine..

I feel the heartache

I feel all your love

I feel am loosing you

I feel something is still left

I feel the expressions are incomplete

I feel I have got so much

To tell

To confess

That am feeling a pain

A loss

That have never felt before

I feel someone is taking away something that has always been mine..

Why can’t you be here

Why can’t I see you

Why can’t you be mine forever

I feel the heartache

I feel the emptiness

I feel your scarcity

In my life,in my soul

I miss you as a whole..

From outside

From deep within

I miss our endless talks

I miss your voice

The ‘I love you’ in every speech

I miss it all..

Why did you keep me deprived

Of this love

All this while

Why did you delay

Why didn’t you wait

For me to understand

I feel the heart aching for you

My eyes feel it

And my body too

Why can’t things be easy for once

When there is so much love

Or is our love not enough??

I will still believe in your love

I will still wait for magic in my life

In some world if we meet

I will always want to be your wife..

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A necessary unnecessary love..

Sometimes I miss non existing things in my life

A cuddle

A hug

A love that I need

A love that I don’t

A touch I need

A touch I don’t

Kiss when I need

Kiss when I don’t

is it my hormone doing the talking

Or it’s the truth that’s mocking

I don’t know

But I miss the unknown

I miss something of my own

That surely exists

That my eyes are looking for

That my reach is reaching for

I will surely meet my unknown

A soul of my own

A necessary unnecessary love

A necessary unnecessary touch

A necessary unnecessary hug

A cuddle of my own

That exists only for me

I will surely meet that soul of my own!!

For sometimes I miss the unknown….

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Am I lucky..

Am I lucky to just have been molested

And not killed?

To just been stalked by some unknown faces,

And not been touched?

To just been teased by men

And not molested?

To just been assaulted,

And not been smothered?

Am I lucky to just been able to protect myself,

Or thinking that am being protected?

To be stepping of my house

And coming back home?

Is that luck keeping me safe

Or my turn next?

Am I lucky to board that cab

And still return alive?

Am I lucky to walk those streets

And still breathe?

Am I lucky to be working at my office

And not been harassed?

Am I lucky to be able to live my life, dream, breathe and desire?

To walk, sit, wear and sleep?

To talk far away from all the stereotypes?

Is there another world for me,

Or am I just another woman,

Living with fear,

Thinking that there is space for me?

How do I fight Mumma “don’t worry will be back home soon”..

How do I tell Papa “ it’s ok if I take a 1am flight to see you soon”..

How do I assure that I step out and come back home??

How do I fight more when I know am just being lucky..

How do I tell myself that it’s ok

Nothing will happen

You need to be strong..

How do I reassure myself after every fall

To stand tall..

Even now while I pen down my thoughts

My heart pounding,

My hands trembling,

With the fear of being born a female..

How do I convince myself..

Am I lucky to be living alone

To be inhaling my freedom

Or the thought of it..

Be it dawn to dusk,

Today or tomorrow,

Can I just live without being hurt?

And just for once not think

That being safe is luck

But am I lucky enough??

by Categories: human emotions Leave a comment

The last full moon..

You were here with me until the last full moon,

I remember clearly.

Peeping out of my window,

Watching the glare,

Scintillating skies,

Picture perfect!

Doing errands in the kitchen,

You were here with me until the last full moon..

Sharing pictures of the beauty around me,

I remember clearly.

That night,

When you had texted me around 2am,

Incessant call until the sunshine,

On my bed, in my balcony,

Picture perfect!

You were here with me until the last full moon..

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Renunciation..

I like the intoxication,

Reminds me of you,

The insanity,

All reminds me of you..

I hate the intoxication,

Reminds me of you,

That you left me cause of distance,

And with a punctured heart..

How do I repair it,

Tell me,

How do I heal my heart,

When you are apart,

Do you even feel a bit,

Or feel the same,

That I have already fallen for you,

All for you..

Before it could all start,

You wanted it to stop,

Why in the first place did you even come close,

Those endless nights,

The endless calls,

Were those fake,

Meaningless?

Or were you also part of the ignition in my heart,

Or were you only playing till the end of game..

I thought we would last,

Was that misunderstood,

How could be this wrong?

Cause every nerve of my body felt the truth,

Was it all a lie?

Or just a trial for you..

For I gave all myself,

Still waiting for you to return,

Two whiskey shots remind me of you,

Of all the late evenings,

And the mornings too

like the intoxication,

Reminds me of you,

The insanity..

All reminds me of you..

I thought we would last,

Was that misunderstood,

How could I be this wrong?

Cause every nerve of my body asks why did you leave,

Cause all I ever wanted is you,

I know we could sustain,

Survive all the blues,

Why did you leave?

Is there another reason,

You could have told me just apart from this distant reason,

Cause am all shattered,

My throat dried,

Acting as if nothing had happened,

How could I be this wrong in sensing your efforts?

Of all those nights,

The mornings and the fights..

How could I be this wrong?

To think there is some feeling,

Hope of future,

Together,

Than leaving forever..

All I wish you is a drunken love,

With no hangover,

Only love,

Wherever you go,

Whoever you touch..

All I wish for you,

A blossom life,

A soulmate right next to you,

When you want,

Unlike me who couldn’t fulfil,

Your needs,

The desire,

The simple feeling of me being next to you..

O that lucky girl,

Take care of this man,

Cause all he wants is love!

Best of all,

His soul,

His mind,

Incomparable to all,

His heart full of love,

Only love!

So dwell as much as you can,

Swim as much as you can,

Drown till he saves you,

Cause he is your man..

How can destiny be this rude,

I need an answer,

Cause distance isnot convincing,

Why did you come?

Why did you stay?

And then leave?

Why??

Tell me…..

Why did you leave?

Cause all I ever wanted is you..

I know we could sustain

Survive all the blues

Why did you leave

Is there another reason

You could have told me just apart from this distant reason

CAuse am all shattered

My throat dried

Acting as of nothing had happened

How could I be this wrong in sensing your efforts

Of all those nights

The mornings and the fights

How could I be this wrong

To think there is some feeling

Hope of future

Together

Than leaving forever

All I wish you is a drunken love

With no hangover

Only love

Wherever you go

Whoever you touch

All I wish for you

A blossom life

A soulmate right next to you

When you want

Not like me who couldn’t fulfil

Your needs

The desire

The simple feeling of me being next to you..

O that lucky girl!!

Take care of this man,

Cause all he wants is love,

Best of all,

His soul,

His mind,

Incomparable to all,

His heart full of love,

Only love!!

So dwell as much as you can,

Swim as much as you can,

Drown till he saves you,

Cause he is your man!!

How can destiny be this rude,

I need an answer,

Cause distance isnot convincing,

Why did you come?

Why did you stay?

And then leave?

Why??

Tell me

When I wake up from this bad dream..

O destiny!

Waiting for an answer if I wake up from this bad bad dream!!

by Categories: human emotions Leave a comment

Silence..

This is a silence from my heart to yours,

A sweet descend of thoughts..

The silence from top of my head to the end of my toe,

From the corner of my eyes to the reach of my arms,

The silence from the rise of my chest to the fall of my breath,

From the curls of my hair to the curves of my waist..

A silence that traverses from your end to mine,

And stays lingering in each sip of the speech,

Traveling down your soul to mine,

Connecting us through the wide spaces,

Like the smaller streams flowing incessantly,

Merging into one another..

We, are moving toward the merge,

Waiting for the silence to unwrap,

To reveal our hearts,

And show the love..

The love that’s sprouting with time,

That love that’s ours and divine,

We, are moving towards that emotional splurge,

Ready to be spent till we are left,

With nothing,

But our souls bare open,

Our spirits entwined,

Our bodies together,

With you being mine..

Are you ready for the same?

For the adventure ahead,

For the fearsome ride,

For this high tide,

That every dusk brings,

Are you ready for it or holding yourself back,

For you can’t take the waves on your face,

For this is something that scares you within..

Will you show the back and walk away too,

If so, walk with silence,

A slower pace,

Don’t play with the strings of my heart,

Walk away in peace,

Or stay till eternity to make me believe,

That love is made for me in abundance..

by Categories: human emotions 2 Comments

Is it getting better..

Is it getting better or is it the same..

Do I find you closer when I take your name..

Am I the only one or you feel the same..

Is it getting any better or am I to blame..

Without you touching me, there are sparks around

My eyes lit, the face glows, an unknown happiness around

I am so craving for you, will you ever know

Your presence, your touch, waiting for our love to grow

Is it any better or still the same

Cause I miss you more when I take your name..

Waiting for the day when our lips will meet

For the day when I would melt

In your arms and touch

Waiting for the day for our souls to be on fire

For the day when the heat of desires

Will find the way,

My love,am daily waiting for that day..

Are you that answered prayer or my god in disguise..

Are you the love in me or the love I crave..

Are you the one I seek or whom I found..

Whoever you are, why my heart screams the truth..

You are the one..

Is it worth the wait or you are my fate..

Whoever you are,

My love, you are my holy grail..

The heart knows what it wants,

Such crystal clear thoughts,

Is it the fog that just left the clouds,

Or feel of your head on my bosom..

Is it your palms that my hands yearn for

Or the look in your eyes that my gaze yearns for

Whatever it is.. all I know

I want you all

In no pieces

but from that flesh to your soul..

All I know is

I want you all..

Not only for now,

Not only for today..

Till am here and love resides in my heart

Till I believe in my answered prayers

Till I vow and make you mine

Till there are pantaloons on my skin

I want you till my eyes see, my skin feels and heart beats within..

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