True Kiss..

He touched her cheeks with those lips,

She blushed and felt the kisses deep,

He touched her temple with those lips,

She embraced the touch and felt it deep..

He now held her from sides of head,

Brought her closer,

As he had read,

Her face,her mind,her body,her soul,

She was flowing as he kissed her deep,

This time on the lips,

She shrugged,he held her again,

Wanting it another time with no pain,

She let him kiss,

Couldn’t deny it then,

Enchanted!she stood there still,

Lost in him,

Like Alice’s den..

He hugged her time and again,

Kissed her nose and felt her flesh,

All the love on her cheeks and lips he gave,

Lost in the Princely face he had,

She couldn’t walk away from what he said..

He sat there looking and gazing,

She sat there only listening,

He sat there listening too,

All the pounding of her heart and, thunder in his heart too,

She could not look into his eye,

Not for a while,

Cause she was scared of falling,

Falling again in love,

His eyes so genuine,

Full of truth,

Enamored of her..

How could she deny the feeling so rare,

How could she stop and not dare..

Now the time was for goodbye,

Goodbyes are difficult that they know,

They hugged like one,

Like there’s no end,

Wishing the time to pause,

Just stay where it was,

She didn’t want to leave the hug,

She couldn’t deny the love,

Love in his eyes,

In his touch,

Love in his embrace

She could feel it all,

As he stood so tall..

He lifted her face and leaned to kiss,

This time too deep to imagine if you haven’t seen,

Their lips were wet,bodies hungry,

They wanted each other,

And get lost within..

He didn’t want her to leave,

He never said that,

Was hypnotised,

His gestures did..

He brought her closer again,

A drift and a tilt,

Kissed her deep again..

Quenching the thirst of those hours,

Opening up like flowers,

They were into each other,

Tasting the sweetness and sour..

They were in the moment,

Not caring for tomorrow,

Kissing carelessly,

She was lost in him,

He lost in her,

He kissed her neck with those lips,

Hugged her again before she could leave..

Now all they have the memory of those moments,

Glad they lived,glad they loved,

Kissed as deep as they could..

A true kiss that she could feel,

Never had she seen,

Never felt on her lips,

A true kiss she wanted so deep,

A love that she wanted to keep..

She was lost in the moment,

He in her eyes,

So much said and left,

So much to hide,

So much to hear with whole desire,

He couldn’t divert but was drunk,

In the vibes,the aura,

That she held..

The room filled with fragrance,

Only they could smell,

Their senses could talk,

In the heavens they dwell..

November 16, 2018November 28, 2018 by Ankita Srivastava Categories: experiences, Feels, human emotions, vibes Leave a comment

My dear word..

O dear word,

Donot fall for everyone,donot fall for the unworthy,

Donot fall if they lack that fire,

Donot fall if there is lesser desire,

If they are honest,then by all means you fall please!!

If it’s true,you make love,

If only it’s real,put your guard down,

Only if it’s selfless you flow from my pen,

Or please stay knitted in the drops within..

If only you feel the vibe and sense the soul,

If only it brings you ecstasy,

Only if it’s understood spend your energy,

For the worthy,you shatter,you break,you fall,

Only if it’s pious you sour,

Donot fall if you not mean to love,

And then become the blasphemy of my pen..

If each nerve screams a connection,

That’s when you open the chambers and explore,

And let it all flow,by all means you may fall galore..

You light and get spent not for everyone,

But for the chosen ones,

You rise like prayers and bless them all,

To those who believe in your downfall..

O dear word! You are my voice,

You are my song,

You are the unsaid feelings,

Fall for the ones closest,

Sing for the rarest,

Who know the importance of rain,

Only fall for the ones who understand falling is pain..

November 7, 2018November 7, 2018 by Ankita Srivastava Categories: human emotions Leave a comment

Will you..

Kiss me each time I leave,

Will you?

Kiss me like am never gonna come back,

Like this is the end of time,

Like this is the goodbye..

Hug me each time we meet,

I like your warmth,

I like the smell that lingers from your body,

I like the love that you shower..

Will you hug me each time we meet?

Like the unnecessary happiness on your face,

Like your heart beats and race,

When you see me,

Like the incessant twinkle in your eyes,

When you rise with that beam on your face..

Hug me each time I leave,

As tight as you can,

As truly as you can,

Cause I donot know if I come back,

Cause I donot know if I see tomorrow,

Cause I have no idea of what’s coming next,

Cause I crave for these hugs and embrace..

Will you kiss and hug with no hurry?

Will you kiss and hug cause I am hungry?

Will you kiss and hug when am not asking for it?

Will you kiss and hug with all your heart?

Will you kiss and hug each time and every time we greet?

Will you kiss and hug each time and every time I leave?

Cause I only know this moment,

Cause I only see you now,

It’s a blessing to be in your arms,

It’s a blessing to feel the cuddles,

It’s a blessing to feel the snuggles,

Am all blessed to be trapped in the chant

Will you do this in no hurry please?

October 10, 2018October 16, 2018 by Ankita Srivastava Categories: human emotions Leave a comment

Drunk Pen

Is my pen drunk or I or the weather in your eyes..

Who is more drunk?

Boozer in the bar or the words falling from afar,

The intoxication makes me express more or the sanity..

Who is pure?

Poetry from my drunk pen or the one written when am sane?

Who is to blame?

The letters in your name,

The sparks in the flame or the stability in this game?

Who is to blame?

The night full of stars or the thoughts scribbled on my mind or is it the foxtroting rains?

Who is to blame?

Is it your gait or is it this date when our gazes met or we entangled in this bait?

Who is more drunk?

The butterflies in my stomach or the insanity in my pen,

The heartbeats in our heart or sparkle in the wine..

Who is more insane?

Our hands or the hearts entwined..

The answers make sense when my pen trembles,

It makes more sense when the bosom stumbles..

October 9, 2018 by Ankita Srivastava Categories: human emotions Leave a comment

फ़ितरत..

जो देख रही हूँ मैं,

क्या वो तू है,

या तेरे चेहरे के पीछे छुपा

एक और चेहरा..

तू लगता तो सच्चा सा है,

या फिर ये कलाकारी है तेरी,

दिखता भी अच्छा सा है,

या फिर ये दुनियादारी है तेरी..

जो देख रही हूँ मैं,

वो झूठा सा है,

या फिर कुछ राज़ है इसमें,

तू लगता तो अपना सा है,

या फिर ग़लतफ़हमी है मेरी..

अब दिखतीं दो शक्लें मुझको,

किस्पे विश्वास करूँ,

एक जो दिखता भी है,

दूसरा जो छुपता नहीं तुझसे,

एक जो अच्छा लगता है,

दूसरा जो भाता नहीं मुझको..

मैंने तो अच्छा ही देखा,

तुझको सच्चा ही माना,

तू क्यूँ ऐसा सा है,

क्यूँ तू यूँ खेल रहा?

मेरा मन तो सीधा सा है,

क्यूँ इसको ऐसे ढकेल रहा,

इस सोच की दरियाँ में?

क्या मेरा इस्तेमाल करना ज़रूरी था?

या उससे भी ज़्यादा ज़रूरी था ख़ुद का इस्तेमाल होना..

क्यूँ आँखें खोल कर भी अनदेखा रहा तू,

या देख कर भी कह ना पायी कुछ,

मेरा इरादा तो सादा सा था..

क्यूँ देख ना पाया तू?

इसमें ना कोई मिलावट थी ना आधा सा था,

क्यूँ देख ना पाया तू?

क्यूँ हर बार सीख कर मौक़ा देती हूँ ख़ुद को,

या हर बार सीखने का मौक़ा?

ये मौक़ा ख़ुद को है या तेरे लिए,

क्या फ़र्क़ पड़ता है..

दिल को एक ठेस सी लगती है,

जब ऐसी सीख मिलती है..

स्वार्थी तो हम सब हैं,

क्या तू क्या मैं,

पर तेरा स्वार्थ भी स्वार्थी तेरे जैसा सा है..

मैंने कोई छल ना सोचा,

पर तू तो सिकंदर सा है,

छल भी तेरी,स्वार्थ भी तेरा..

मैं तो खोती चली गयी इस बुनी जाल में,

तेरी हर बात में,

जिसकी फ़ितरत ही चाल थी,

इरादे साफ़ ना थे हर मुलाक़ात में,

ग़लती तेरी नहीं ये ग़लतफ़हमी मेरी रही,

देखती गयी इस इंसान को,

जो मतलबी था हमेशा,

पर फिर भी मैंने चुना इंसानियत का सोच के..

की कोई तो हो ऐसा जिसपे हो मुझको भरोसा

पर तू तो खिलाड़ी इस खेल का,

मुझे प्यादा बना गया,

सब समझ कर भी नासमझी मैं,

तू तो फिर से गिरा गया।।

September 25, 2018September 26, 2018 by Ankita Srivastava Categories: human emotions Leave a comment

Touch..

Would you touch my ingenuous soul,

If I keep it bare?

Would you kiss me back with love

If I dare,

And bring me to sanity,

Would you hold me now,

And hug me with insanity.

Would you touch my hand,

And hold it now,

Would you stay here a little more,

And kiss me beneath the mistletoe,

With whole of you..

Would you talk to me with honesty

And explore?

Would you look into my eyes,

And look with your eyes,

The said and the unsaid?

Would you read the unread,

And turn the pages when read.

Would you understand this touch,

The flow of my feelings?

Would you ever know the sanctity,

Of the words so profound

Would you?

I seek no diamonds,

I ask no gold,

All that am longing for is-

Roses that smell like marigold,

Would you ever bring me flowers

If untold?

Would you touch my tears,

And kiss my smile..

Would you ever notice me for a while?

Would you touch my gaze,

With your eyes,

And my face with a glare?

You’ve touched my soul,

And the stars

And all the imaginary spaces of my heart.

Would you ever know somehow,

Would you stay and read it for now,

‘Cause now is the moment,

Now is the happiness,

Now is the insanity,

Now is the beauty,

Of this feel

Would you ever know what it means?

Or would you just shrug away,

Walk like you don’t care!

It’s alright..

For this is what it is.

And this is how it is.

Your touch on my soul,

And my heart,

And all the pieces of my smile,

Scattered all this while..

It’s alright!

Cause this is just a poetry,

An unsolved mystery,

You would never get to know,

Unless I speak my poetry!!

September 11, 2018September 11, 2018 by Ankita Srivastava Categories: experiences 2 Comments

फ़र्क़..

तुम भी ग़ज़ल लिखते होगे,

बेशक सारे जज़्बात बयान करते होगे,

सब कुछ बयान हो कर भी,

उसमें एक ही कमी रहती होगी,

ना लफ़्ज़ मेरे होते होंगे,

ना लहजा मेरा होता होगा |

फ़र्क़ ये है कि,

तुम्हारी ज़ुबान में तुम कहते होगे,

उनसा ना कोई हँसता होगा,

फ़र्क़ ये ही है कि,

हमने उस मुस्कान की सादगी देखी

उनसा ना कोई सादा होगा |

तुमने कई दफ़ा कोशिश की,

लिख के बताया,

कह के सुनाया,

फ़र्क़ बस इतना सा है कि,

हमने तो इश्क़ हर पल में जताया,

कुछ कह के भी सुनायें,

कुछ लिख के भी बतायें,

फ़र्क़ बस इतना सा है कि,

हमारा होना भी इश्क़,ना होना भी इश्क़ है,

हमारा आना भी इश्क़,रुकना भी इश्क़ है,

तुमने बस छूना ही इश्क़ जाना,

फ़र्क़ बस इतना ही है,

हमारा बिन छुएँ,छू जाना ही इश्क़ है..

August 24, 2018August 26, 2018 by Ankita Srivastava Categories: experiences Leave a comment

Eligibility for Marriage

In India,the burden on parents’ chest is felt as soon as sperm meets the ova,and people have an XX offspring.

They try hard not to show it on their faces,but not everyone is a good actor right?

We all believe in patriarchy than in a person’s individuality.

The burden increases if the XX commodity is not Beautiful.Beautiful-as per their notions of beauty of course.

The XX needs to be highly educated for marrying a XY.

There are various eligibility criteria for a perfect marriage.If the XX unfortunately doesn’t fall under these,it’s the unluckiest creature on this globe.No amount of education,fame or name can snatch its unfortunate luck.

Now,I am going to take you through one of the major criteria of XX and XY match.

Colour

Aah!This one is the most necessary,and holds 90% weightage to clear the examination.

Egg white is the shade that defines beauty that helps one to come out in flying colours.Anything below that is,ugly,diseased and brings shame to the family.

Though,this colour offspring is of course a byproduct of two different shades but unfortunately the genetic mutation led to a non egg whitish shade.

This leads to major issues and concerns in the family.XX is reminded a thousand times that it’s not beautiful enough and no XY would want to marry it.

It’s a tremendously difficult to sell product you see,after so many efforts.Such a shame!

It doesn’t fall in the marketing criteria.

The XX- An average looking,modern personality,who is constantly been reminded of the ugliness it possesses.

It’s mother justifies to people around that ,the reason for it’s skin tone is tanning you see and believes that others would buy that!!Haahhaa Lol!!

No am not kidding.It even heard her explaining a driver while heading to the airport the or rather justifying.

Because this colour needs justification.

I mean how sinful it is to be born a Darker shade.

Darkness is a disease.A disease, that parents try to cure by application of various in house and out house products,envisaging the beauty.

Not only this,they have always advised on the choice of colour of it’s outfits.The in house fashion experts.”Black doesn’t suit you,you look darker”..Huh??”You know you should be wearing all the fresh colours,that enhances the illusion of the viewer of this commodity”..

XYs have asked her if it’s dark,fair or resemble a piece of shit.I mean on its face.

The only thing that matters to everyone around is the skin which soon,will no longer stay the same.And then?Then what?

Then you either think that’s your fate or create one!!

Trust me,the XX is freaking positive and has gulped positivity in each nerve of its body,but people you see..Silly..Would they even know what is she looking for?Have they reproduced such XY yet??

The white eggs are one amongst the many and it being one amongst the chosen ones..It responded to one of the XYs..

Can we all clap please?

August 19, 2018August 25, 2018 by Ankita Srivastava Categories: experiences, Feels, human emotions, vibes Leave a comment

My Phulkari Duppata

It’s soothing as the winter tea in mountains

A sip not enough,a cup not enough

It can’t be concealed,just like love and a cough.

Like the wind gushing through her hair

that brushes on her face,when she hardly cared

It’s the winter sun,so much there

that she needed throughout but didn’t know

Until it shed like those autumn leaves upon her

Until she stood beneath the lavender blossoms

Until she believed it to be true

Until she stood on the bed of love and flowers.

It’s like when she dances to the beats with each of her curve

It’s like the songs dripping from each of her nerve.

She didn’t know it existed all this while

Until it swayed with her and kissed her smile

Until it cuddled her and calmed the turmoil.

It’s like the Sufi music that she listens to,so enchanting

It’s like the Prince’s magical spell,all overcasting

She was unaware of this spell

Until it played like the Sitar,each string

telling how it feels

Until she stood there startled and swing like the wing.

It’s like the morning prayers

Untouched,raw and divine

Protective and full of hope

It’s like that godly shrine.

It’s like the goblet full of Sangria

A blend of everything that can intoxicate

But keep her in senses

No she was not drunk,not drunk at all

It’s the depth of its vision and its wish to crawl.

It’s like Phulkari that she admires

So vibrant,embroidered with love and care

When wrapped around,

It’s that feel beautiful feeling that lights her face

And when it caresses her body filled with grace

It’s that feeling from tip to toe

It’s the gentle touch and nuzzle that you would not have seen or known

It cuddled her as innocently as a kid

And she didn’t know about this longing

Until she danced on its beats.

It’s like her poems,pious and pure

Only flowing from her fingers entangled in allure

It never slipped but held her tight to the bosom

It didn’t let her go even in that moment

She felt so complete,a feeling of lifetime.

It didn’t utter a word,neither did she

It flew her to the epitome of an imaginary mystery.

It’s the concealer of her bruises and all her scars

All this while she didn’t  know who she was swaying with

Until she relentlessly followed her heart!!

August 11, 2018September 13, 2018 by Ankita Srivastava Categories: Uncategorized Leave a comment

The New Energy

Honestly I do not prefer listening to any kind of gyaan(a speech given by people who care and also who don’t ) when am upset or feel low or even when am at my happy high.

Most of us do not like it right?But aren’t we lucky enough to have such people in our lives who love us and care for us,have you ever thought?

We are all such hypocrites that we want love but do not embrace it when it’s all around us. Isn’t it a kind and loving gesture to talk to someone,listen to them and not mere hear them.We all love to be listened and not just heard.

I have always admired people with their own voice and perspective about little things in life,the little things that we do not notice but have a great impact,the little things within us and outside us.

I found a dynamic,honest,profound energy.I call it the New Energy.The one which regenerates itself even after getting destructed.The one which is pure,humble,kind and full of love.The one that knows to embrace everything that comes.The one that allows you to listen to yourself and also the one that listens to you without a single blink.It eagerly waits for you to talk because it’s here to listen.This energy is within but not found in everybody unless you explore.Exploring the unknown is beautiful!!

It’s one of a kind and I consider myself lucky enough to have found it.It teaches you to breathe and not merely inhale or exhale.This energy only knows to give.

It allows you to feel yourself in utter silence when there are oodles of disasters happening in the nerves of your brain.It allows you to be you in real,when everybody around you prefers wearing a mask.It loves you in entirety not merely your skin,hair,eyes or body but also the person you are,the very beautiful soul you are.It sees that,it feels that too.It’s fearless nature left me amazed.

At first,honestly I could not believe what my heart felt, as I have always trusted my gut feelings and like they say vibes do not lie.All the nerves in my body were embracing the energy but mind always plays this game of thinking-when it’s required and also when it’s not required.

Not everyone has courage to feel the real things they want to.There was an initial hesitation not because I thought the energy I felt was a lie,but I was flabbergasted by the fact that does such energy exist in real.All I knew that I always wanted to be listened,cared,valued and appreciated.

It made me think in a different way.To many questions it asked,I had answers but didn’t have proper words.Yes,I ran out of words,such beautiful is the energy!

I was in sync with every tone,with every vibration,with every silence I was resonating and connecting.I was absorbing this energy in every possible way I could only till I sit in calm and find it again…

At some point I also felt that who would heal the healer?? I too wanted to listen if the energy had anything to say,to convey and all I know that it definitely has.I will wait till I find it again and be the healer..

August 8, 2018August 27, 2018 by Ankita Srivastava Categories: Uncategorized Leave a comment